A Living Legend

No, not Obama (although how fantastic that he is in! Good to have Americans in the office to discuss this with – genuine air of excitement in the air this morning), I mean the legend that is …..George Michael.

He announced his plans to play a gig in Abu Dhabi a few weeks ago, and yesterday I sorted tickets. I missed is Manchester concert last year, and had to experience it vicariously through Julie and Aimee the morning after.

You really can’t beat a bit of Club Tropicana, Freedom, or Outside. More than just his music I admire his honesty and spirit. Very excited about December 1st. And the next day is a public holiday! Perfect timing.

The World’s Biggest Mall

It’s not every day a mall the size of Greater Manchester opens on your doorstep, and yesterday the day finally came for the doors to open at Dubai Mall. It has been dogged by delays, with the opening date put back by a couple of months, then a few more days.

I hadn’t actually intended to go in – I can take or leave the malls here – in my opinion they’re overpriced, vacuous places. But in I went – twice! In my defence, the fist time was necessity – the traffic situation was so bad at our offices that I had to abandon my car and walk home. Now I LOVE walking, but this is starting to get a bit arduous in the evening heat and humidity.

I set off home from work with a couple of colleagues – and it dawned on us that rather than running the gamut of crazy drivers on the highway, we could cut through the Mall. This was easier than it sounds, as, despite being open, it is far from finished.

We meandered down into the bowels of its parking, which is like another world. It reminded me a bit of Mad Max – lots of dust, noise, cars horns, traffic going the wrong way – general pandemonium. Eventually we found our way into the actual mall itself, and by this stage the air con was a major relief.

My verdict on the mall? Well it’s much like any other mall in Dubai – with only 30% of the shops actually being open. There’s the usual Kurt Geiger, Reiss, Zara, Mango (all at about 30% more expensive than the UK), there’s a Nivea spa (because Dubai just doesn’t have enough of these).

The big attractions are Hamleys, Bloomingdales (opening in 2010), and Galleries Layfayette.

The other huge attraction is the world’s biggest aquarium. In the mall. This area was packed. Being Dubai, nothing comes for free, and although you can walk around and get a general view, if you want to get up close and personal to the fish, you have to queue up and pay for the privilege to walk through an enclosed tunnel. The queue for this was huge. I smiled smugly as I walked past – regular readers will know that I visited the mall for a sneak preview and have already done the tunnel!

I was genuinely surprised by the amount of people in the mall – I ended up going back in a few hours later as I met a friend who wanted to have a look – at 9 pm it was packed. I left wondering what it said about Dubai – try and find an art gallery and you’ll probably have to drive for hours into the middle of nowhere. Open a mall – that isn’t finished – and within two hours it will be rammed to the rafters.

There is no getting away from the fact that it is ridiculously handy to have this beast so nearby – it’s about ten minutes on foot door to door- but I’m a bit concerned about the amount of traffic that we’re now going to have roaring past. A high price to pay for Zara on your doorstep? Only time will tell.

Why God, Why?!

I may have mentioned five million times that the tv and radio here is dire. So it is with much excitement each week that I plug in my laptop and itunes, and download podcasts and BBC television programmes. These used to include Jonathan Ross and Russell brand’s weekly radio shows.

I know Russell Brand has a marmite effect on many people, and to be honest I detested him as much as the next Daily Mail reader until I started downloading his podcasts each week and listening them on my regular walks to work.

These were utterly hilarious, and I’ve converted numerous friends to them over the last year. Many was the time people used to increase their distance from me when I was listening to them in public, so loud were my burst of hyena-like laughter. It was actually getting embarrassing, especially in confined spaces like shops.

And since I moved to Dubai they’ve provided not only laughs but also a much-needed reality check, with news and stories from home discussed regularly.

So imagine my horror when the recent shennanigans with Andrew Sachs hit the headlines, resulting in both of my favourite radio shows being axed!

I’m not going to get into the rights and wrongs of the gaffe that they made (suffice to say that I bet the Middle-England daily mail readers who are doing most of the complaining have never listened to the show in their lives and should really get a life) but I am going to say this: that’s 2 hours less audio-pleasure I am going to get a week now! You have to hang onto these small things when you live in a culturally barren country!

Rant over. Thanks god Strictly Come Dancing has thus far avoided offending the nation.

Sand, Sand, Sand

From now on, don’t bother asking me what I’ve been up to at the weekend – because I can promise you it will have been spent…on the beach. Yes, the weather has finally abated and is now a gorgeous 35 degrees celcius each day – perfect beach weather, and no need to be hiding under a parasol all day.

So this weekend I combined the posh version of the beach and the free version. The first version involves going to a luxury beach club set in gorgeous grounds, where waiters tend to your every whim. The most exhausting part of the day is getting up for the huge buffet lunch, served on crisp white tablecloths in the shade. The only thing which breaks the calm is the sound of the sea plane landing and taking off each hour or so.

The second version involves driving down to the public beach, via a lesser-known side road which takes you to a slightly quieter part. You have to walk through the sand to get to the beach. No sun loungers, just your towel at the edge of the sea. No waiters, but you can munch on your own snacks (watermelon, yum). The sounds of fellow sunbathers and the odd rubber ring/banana inflatable ring in your ears. The view is: lots of other people, the Atlantis Hotel and the Burj Al Arab.

Opposite ends of the scale but whichever way you look at it, not a bad way to spend a weekend!

Total Gridlock

I haven’t blogged much this week. Partly because I try not to moan too much on my blog, and this week I have felt like having a jolly good whinge.

Why? They’ve changed the roads, again, and it has meant complete gridlock outside my office and the complex where I live.

When I say gridlock, I mean bumper to bumper traffic, that DID NOT MOVE from 4pm until gone 9 pm. And even at 9 pm it crawled.

There was a ‘spirit of the blitz’ in the air. Colleagues abandoned their cars (think England when it snows) and went to nearby bars and hotels. I walked home, yes walked home. This was not a casual stroll, oh no. I had to navigate through about 500 metres of building site (down trenches, past diggers) and then down a 4 lane highway – which I have to say was a bit hairy. There was no pavement. Thankfully I was with two friends from work and we encouraged one another as we trudged along.

By this point it was clocking off time for thousands of Indian construction worked, god love them. We must have looked particularly out of place as we tromped past suited and booted, carrying laptops.

With the world’s biggest mall about to open in two days time, I fear for the traffic situation going forward. Many people cite it as a reason for leaving the city, full-stop. I’m not at that stage, but you have to wonder how a city which has such high aspirations can get the little details so very very wrong. Watch this space.

A Hair-Raising Situation

Hot on the heels of last week’s post, where I watched flabbergasted as a 5 year old paid for her Starbucks with a credit card, roll up roll up for my latest ridiculous kid-spot.

Last weekend, as I was having my huge barnet tamed (think afghan hound in need of trim) I witnessed a girl, no older than 7 years, in the chair next to me. Nothing unusual about that, until I noticed that she was having a FULL HEAD OF HIGHLIGHTS. Ok, so what possesses a parent to allow a load of bleach to be shoved onto their child’s head? And that’s just the physical side of things, never mind the mental implications of 7 year olds thinking it’s completely normal to get a full make over.

It is getting very hard to surprise me these days. What next, Junior Botox?

Miaow!

I saw a man with a cat on his shoulders last night. He was walking into one of the apartment blocks.

I don't know why I'm surprsied. Apparently there's a guy in Dubai who keeps tigers in his basement. And every now and again drives round the city with them in his car, heads poking out the windows. I am not joking. I am of course, DYING to see this!

These boots were made for....

This is a small observation about life in Dubai. I can wear heels. Mainly because I never walk anywhere.

In Manchester I was forever carrying around fold up flat shoes in my handbag (no, really) for when I had to hot foot it home from a work or evening event. Living in the city centre was great for my exercise programme. I even teamed trainers with smart work outfits, just for the walk to work, you understand. Yes, I looked ridiculous, but you can pick up quite a bit of speed when you have those bad boys on!

Here the complete lack of walking, anywhere, has meant I have really smartened up my act in the footwear department. Fascinating, I'm sure you'll agree!

The Best Things in Life....

You may have gathered that I'm a big fan of the beach. I'm sure it's in my blood, what with being raised on an island and all. Most of my earliest and fondest childhood memories centre around time spent at the beach with my folks. I used to pelt along the sea front on my bike (with stablisers when tiny) and my dear mum maintains it was the best way ever to wear me out.

Then there was my dad and his amazing 'boat-digging' skills. Yes, he used to draw out a boat in the sand, and then dig it out for me. I would then spend many a happy hour pretending to sail it. I have the photos to prove this, but no I'm not sharing them.

And of course there were the days we spent trying to fly kites (I think this was more for my dad's benefit than mine) I don't remember much about this other than sand dunes may have been involved.

Anyway, the point I am getting to is that in these credit crunch, belt-tightening times, it's good to know that there are stil some pleasures in life which don't break the bank. You do have to pay a small fee to get access to some beaches in Dubai - and for a large fee you can visit the private beaches of some of the top hotels.

But there are some beaches which are completely free. And we discovered a new one this weekend. It was busy, but fabulous. You can drive the car right onto the beach (helpful when carrying an over-sized beach bag stuffed with books and magazines) althought this did elicit much squealing at one point when we thought the car was going to get stuck in the sand.

So anyway, we're on the beach. The weather is perfect (36 degrees). I'm sipping an iced mocchiato whilst catching up on news, celebrity gossip, Radio 2 podcasts and Cherie Blair's autobiography. The rain, wind and cold of a UK Winter seemed very far away. Call me shallow, but that's why I live in Dubai.

Things I Miss

I’ve done all the things I love about Dubai. Here are the things I miss from home. I may add to it!

This one goes without saying: my gorgeous and wonderful friends and family. Your daily texts, emails, calls and instant messages mean the world to me. Thank god for technology.

Marks and Spencer’s Food Hall.
Yes, we do have M&S stores here, but they are dire. The food sections barely run to a few packets of crisps. I miss all of their food, particularly the Tuna Nicoise Salad, their pink fizz, Percy Pigs, mashed potato and crunchy Combo crisps. I shall be beating my way down Market Street to stock up when I get home in December.

Fake Tan.
You cannot find this stuff anywhere here! Shelf upon shelf of skin whitening products (event he big brands like Clinique and Clarins have whole ranges devoted to this – which I have never even been aware of before) but not a whiff of fake tan anywhere. And believe me, I have searched for it. You know what I am asking you to bring with you when you visit!

Nipping to pick up a bottle of wine on your way home from work. Nipping to get a bottle of wine at any time.
Here you have to have a licence, and go through all sorts of faffing to get a bottle of vino.

The British sense of humour.
As you know kids, I am a hoot! And bless my team at work, they are trying to get my sense of humour, but so very much of it is lost on them. I have another Manc colleague who sometimes visits my office for some morning banter. The team literally stares dumbfounded. They maintain they cannot understand us. Sigh.

Good TV.
I warn you: Never take Sky for granted. And never complain about the state of the tv in England. Yes, some of my viewing choices may have been a bit, well un-challenging. But if there is a better way to spend an hour with the girls than discussing: Katie and Peter/Kerry Katona – Crazy in Love/Pride of Britain awards/Lost/Ugly Betty/Heroes, I have yet to discover it.

Hip Hop
Maybe because I’m not ‘hitting the club scene’ here, but I really miss hip hop. You couldn’t swing a cat in Manchester without hitting a fab club or night that we wanted to go to. I think Dubai likes its clubbing a bit more ‘handbag and heels’ than ‘sneakers and hoodies.’ Shame.

A Decent Hairdresser
Read my previous posts, and weep. I need say no more.