There’s no place like home

I don’t think I’ve explained that much about where I live, so here’s some info kids.

I live in an area which apparently is the most expensive in the world – it’s ah op, skip and a jump from Burj Dubai – the world’s tallest building. Thankfully the apartment is a 5 minute drive to the office. I remain convinced that during the summer months I’ll be able to walk to work – a concept that is greeted by howls of laughter from friends and colleagues. You see, there is no sewerage system here – so in addition to the crazy car drivers who may mow you down without so much as a backwards glance, on the odd occasion that it rains, apparently the roads flood with water as there is nowhere for it to drain through to.

Anyway, within walking distance of the apartment (not that you want to walk anywhere at the moment, the humidity is obscene) we have two gorgeous hotels. One, the Al Manzil, has a diving courtyard, which due to some amazing architectural trickery, remains really cool, ever at this time of year.

The Palace is set on an island and really does feel very majestic as you go into it. Both have souks within them – think an Arabian mini-shopping centre. These are really handy as they each have a Spinneys (Waitrose), chemists, hairdressers (!) various boutiques, and a huge range of gorgeous restaurants and bars.

There’s also a great little spa for waxes, mani pedis (for 10 quid) and massages. Starbucks, cafes, florists, camel souvenirs, it’s all going on.

Our apartment is in a development called South Ridge. Six enormous towers (39 floors) with two pools – which are divine, a fab gym, which is never busy, a golf simulator (!), squash and badminton courts, and soon to open guest suites where visitors can rest their weary heads. The lobby of our tower alone looks like a 7 star hotel, lush sofas, works of art, and 24 hour concierges. Who are possibly the sweetest people I have ever met. Nothing is too much trouble for them.

All of this comes at a price, of course. 20, 000 of your English pounds, if you please, for one year. And you have to pay up front, in two cheques. There was sasharp intake of breath when the first one was cashed, I can tell you.

The world's largest mall is set to open at the end of October - this too, is a 5 minute walk from the apartment. Whilst concerned about the effect that the inevitable traffic to the mall will create, I am keen for seeing the world's largest aquarium, and indoor ice-skating rink (are you listening, Haidari?!).

Have I made you want to visit yet?!