A Listers

For the nine hundredth time: NO, I DID NOT ATTEND THE ATLANTIS OPENING PARTY!! Sadly, I was not one of the select 2, 000 people who slurped champers and were entertained by Le Kylie.

Security was in total overdrive – friends and clients who actually live on the Palm had special passes to allow them into their homes on the opening day – and had strict instructions to be back home by 4 pm. They were also forbidden from swimming or sitting on their own private beaches – having seen the fireworks display which came from each frond, I’m presuming this is because if they had done, they might have found a rocket in their bikinis!

The guest list was leaked (no, really) and such stellar stars as Richard Branson, Mary-Kate Olsen, Nathalie Imbruglia and Charlize Theron were in attendance. I was most excited about Janet Jackson and Oprah, but apparently Oprah was a no-show. How rude!

Some friends were lucky enough to watch the fireworks from a specially chartered yacht (5 grand for four hours, if you please) and it does sound like a spectacular show. Me? I was far too busy at my regular wine and cheese night to be watching 13.5 million quid quite literally, go up in smoke. Champagne corks were the only loud noises I heard that night. Still, this being Dubai, there will no doubt be another ‘party of the decade’ just around the corner….