Why Get Married?

If you know me well, you'll know I've never been a big white wedding kind of girl, and have actively run from the prospect of marriage like Kim Kardashian from all things tasteful and decent.

Which may have explained some of the reactions we got to our surprise (for everyone but us) wedding. I've gathered some of the best/worst (depending on your viewpoint) here for your reading ease:

Was it a complete surprise/spur of the moment?
No, we secretly got engaged last year and thoughtfully considered how to actually become man and wife.

Did Elvis marry you?
No. God, no! Just because we got married in Vegas, it still meant something and was significant to us. We got married here. A beautiful little chapel, with a real chaplain, in a real and serious ceremony. Their slogan/tagline/motto is: Simple, Elegant, legendary. Which sums up their approach, and I'd like to think...ours.

Did you get married so you could live together legally.
Please. I have heard of people doing this in Dubai and fair play to them. But no, no and no.

Did you get married because you were pregnant?
Again. NO. Again, plenty of people do this, and good luck to them, but not us. Added to which, if I was knocked up I wouldn't go to the time, trouble and expense of flying to Vegas, one of the most debauched and liqour loving places in the world, to get married.

Vegas without booze has got to be like a coffee without caffeine: boring and NO FUN. And let's be clear, our Vegas trip was a melee of champagne for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

So why DID we get married? Aside from the obvious L-word (I know, I know, stop dry heaving and bear with me), there was a permanence, peacefulness and sense of certainty: this is the one and only person I've ever imagined growing old with. And for us, that mattered.

I hope that clears up some of the discussions, rumours and general chit chat. You're welcome!

Still makes my heart sing....

Finding a venue/location...

No trawling locations the length and breadth of the Emirates, no getting 20 different quotes from wedding planners, no looking at lawns or beaches or hotels or churches. 

It was all very simple:

• Me: “You know I’m not a big white wedding girl. Do you want a big white wedding?”
• Him: “Absolutely not. I’ve always assumed I’d HAVE to have one as every girl I’ve ever met has been crazy about them.”
• Me: “Well let’s not have a big white wedding then.”
• Him: “Amazing!”
• Me: “Fancy getting married in Vegas then, just the two of us?”
• Him: “Amazing, when are we off?!”

See? Completely and utterly easy.

Flights were booked, hotel was booked (The Wynn, obviously, the ONLY place to stay in Vegas) and a chapel was booked.

As it was just the two of us, there was no need for a complicated reception, seating plans, or speeches. 

This went something along the lines of:

• Me: “What do you fancy doing after we’ve got married?”
• Him: “Dunno. Whatever you like.”
• Me: “Shall we just head to a casino with a decent bar and see how we feel?”
• Him: “Fantastic!”

And so we did. 

Our beautiful little Vegas chapel.

Love in a Cold Climate

The only way to do it...?

I like the Dutch.  They’re a warm and genuinely friendly nation, open and welcoming, and just generally lovely. In my experience of working with them, they’re also efficient, but with a sense of humour – a bit like Germans after a couple of E’s.  On my recent trip to Amsterdam I was reminded of this, none so more than on the flight over. I won’t bore you with the tales of woe in economy (although, once I stumbled onto the film Burlesque, I couldn’t have cared less if the flight was nine hours: a fabulously camp enjoyable romp!) suffice to say, don’t fly KLM. It’s just horrible.  Anyway I was surrounded by lovely Dutch people in their fifties who appeared to either be having a group trip home, or had just been on holiday in Dubai. They were all in high spirits, including a lovely couple across the aisle from me.

Now, I’m known for being cynical about relationships: I spent the vast part of my twenties going to weddings, and only a small proportion of those couples are still together. There was the one who knew when going down the aisle that it wouldn’t last, the one whose husband told her one month in that he was leaving her for his ex (no, really), and one who actually said to me “well if it doesn’t work out, we’ll just get divorced.”  Surprise surprise, that’s what happened.  

I’ve always been missing the ‘bride gene’: that crazy single-mindedness that seems to grip otherwise perfectly normal women: “I MUST get married, at any cost. Because that’s what I’m SUPPOSED to do.” I’m not anti-marriage, far from it.  Despite knocking back a few tenacious marriage proposals (thank god) I can definitely imagine spending the rest of my life with one person, and saying yes (just not to the txt that last asked me..!)

I think that there’s a more sensible attitude worth adopting, of being a happy single, whose life is fulfilled and fabulous, with or without a man.  If and when you do meet someone worth making time for, then there’s less pressure on both of you to rush into anything: at the end of the day, a wedding is a wedding (and the big white ones have always left me cold – take me to Vegas any day).  A marriage is what you should be thinking about and what you ultimately subscribe to.

Anyway, back to the couple next to me.  They were in their fifties, but clearly deeply in love.  Extremely affectionate (without overdoing the PDA’s) he gazed at her whilst she spoke, their body language mirrored, and they just had CHARISMA.  I hadn’t even had a drink so I promise you I wasn’t drunk.  When we got off the plane, he fetched her things, and touched her so tenderly on the cheek that I almost wept. (Still not drunk, honest.)  Who knows, he might have been having an affair, she might have been his third wife, but equally, they made a lovely couple.  And in a sea of mediocre relationships, infidelity and disposable partners, that’s something to aim for, surely?