Fire!

FYI: Contents not hot

Sorry to grab your attention with such an inflammatory headline (pun intended). There hasn’t been a fire, nothing is ablaze. We just had a fire drill in the office. No biggie, they happen in most places…..but this being Dubai the words ‘piss-up’ and ‘brewery’ sprung straight to mind.

Here’s a few tips the ‘authorities’ who organized said fire drill might want to consider:

1) It’s 40 degrees outside, with no breeze. Do we really HAVE to do this in that sort of heat?

2) The evacuation assembly point should surely be further away from the building than 1 metre. If the building was actually on fire, we would all be toast by now.

3) Perhaps appoint someone in our office to check on whether we are really all out of the building. Surely the raison d’etre of a fire drill, non?

4) Please advise the entire population of Emaar Square that they should not spark up a fag as soon as they leave the office.

5) When re-entering the building, allow people to use the stairs. 5000 people + 4 elevators = complete chaos.

A final point: where were the firemen? It’s the part of a fire drill that a girl looks forward to the most!