As a woman whose tv isn’t actually connected, I don’t tend to watch a lot of tv shows at home, preferring to pick and choose the odd boxed set when I’m in the mood (who knew Allo Allo was so hilarious?!). But soon there’s tv gold to be had, and my laptop will be downloading a few gems from the BBC.
First off there’s Strictly: a fabulous plethora of sequins, inappropriate outfits, and lashings of fake tan. The gang has already agreed that Sunday nights will be reserved for communal watching sessions.
Secondly, there’s The Apprentice. I’m not a big fan of reality tv shows, but there’s something about the combination of deluded freaks that they put on the show, combined with Suralan’s caustic wit that has always had me in hysterics.
Some of my favourite comments from the lunatics they’ve lined up:
• I'm Stuart Baggs 'The Brand' - I've got a certain type of charisma’
My first word wasn't Mummy. It was money.
• I'm ruthless, even in Monopoly.
• I've read all your CVs and on paper you all look very good. But then again so does fish and chips.
Obviously that last one was from Suralan.
And of course, it’s always oh so easy to watch the hapless mugs try to complete a task from your own sofa, wine in hand, passing judgement on their terrible skills and brainpower, meaning that you, of course, are the next Richard Branson in comparison. It will be the first season that I’ve watched since moving to the Twilight Zone. I wonder if I’ll have any more sympathy for the contestants and if my retard-tolerance level will render watching the show easier or more difficult?