|The picture of decorum..honest!|
"Young, single, greedy, and insincere. None of them are very clever. So they live lives that revolve around drink and porn sex and pool parties and barbecues with a lot of hysterical laughing and theme nights, karaoke, and slobbery, regretful coupling."
"British, loud and drunk, dressed in their tarty party gear. The girls, raucous and provocative, have fat thighs that wobble in tiny frocks. Cantilevered bosoms lurch. The boys, spiky and gelled, glassy-eyed and leering."
Karaoke. Check. (Why??!!) Fat Girls in inappropriate outfits. Check. Boobs hanging out. Check. Welcome to Dubai! Although, to be fair, this could equally apply to any city in the UK. The problem is, I don't want to live in the UK.
It reminds me of a chat I had with a lovely American man last week in one such ex-pat haunt. We politely went thorough the usual pleasantries, and then got onto "do you come here often?" I explained that I didn't, and had only been 4 times. Once was a first date (he chose the location) and the subsequent 3 times were again, not my choice. "Really???" he exclaimed. "My girlfriend (British) loves it in here." Then I dropped the real bombshell: I brunch but twice a year, and it's only ever at the polo..a civilised affair which is really lunch with horses as far as I'm concerned. This nearly floored him. "My girlfriend is always brunching, she loves it. You're the first person I've ever met in Dubai who doesn't." I quickly introduced him to the other four people who don't either. He then leaned in towards me conspiratorially: "To be honest, I can't stand brunches and I really don't understand her fascination with them. I only go to keep her happy." (Good man.)
A.A Gill: such a shame you didn't scratch beneath this shallow facade, but then ever since you wrote THAT article about Manchester, I expected nothing more...